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Sorry No More!

Written by Julie Cohen, Professional Certified Coach

Do you find yourself saying “I’m sorry” too often at work?  Have you noticed a pattern of prefacing feedback or sharing of your ideas with an “I’m sorry, but?” Clients often come to me noticing their overuse of this phrase and the negative impact it has on their professional stature.  What place does saying “I’m sorry” have in the workplace?

Words Matter

The words that you communicate with tell more than just your message.  These words also tell others about you and how you interact with your world.  Here are some examples of the potential negative impact of over-apologizing:

• Tom works in an advertising agency where he was hired for his creativity and cutting-edge ideas.  At brainstorming meetings, he often sits back while colleagues share ideas.  He waits until he’s ready to share what he believes is something more powerful, creative and meaningful.  When he presents his perspective, he always begins by saying, “I’m sorry guys, but what do you think of this idea?”   
  
  Tom is consistently frustrated because his great ideas never get any traction.  Tom feels the need to apologize because he’s not agreeing with the ideas of the group and yet, the group doesn’t spend time on Tom’s possibilities as he hesitantly presents an alternative viewpoint.  Tom’s colleagues shut down their focus after they hear “I’m sorry, but” as they’re assuming the content is a mistake.


• Rebecca, an IT Manager with a team of five direct reports, starts most of her conversations or emails with “I’m sorry.”  It may be “I’m sorry to bother you,”  “I’m sorry that I need you to do this,” or “I’m sorry to disagree with you.”  She is a highly competent IT professional.  She can’t understand why her staff often leaves her projects and request to work with other managers.  Her team members also leave the company at a higher level than any other manager. 
  
  Rebecca’s direct reports have no confidence in her ability to stand up for them when it comes time to granting bonus pay and promotions.  They feel that since she can’t be direct with them, she must not be direct with her peers and supervisors.  She has no credibility as an assertive and confident advocate.

Read more from Sorry No More!

Read Also:

Career Tune-up: Maintaining your Professional Path
Can I Really be Satisfied with Work?
Dealing with a Difficult Boss
What is Work/Life Balance, Anyway?
Worry in the Workplace
Doing, Doing, Done! - Finishing that Big Project
Networking is Not a Dirty Word
Bouncing Back from "Bad" Feedback
Delivering Difficult Messages at Work
The Opportunity of Conflict

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Are You PRESENT?

Written by Julie Cohen, Professional Certified Coach

Dictionary*says:

Now existing or in progress; being in view or at hand.

What it REALLY means:

Staying focused on what is currently happening in your life; living in 'the now' as opposed to the past or the future; the place where you exist, enjoy, impact and choose.

Why it MATTERS?

Being aware of where you 'spend your time' impacts your happiness and stress level. When your thoughts are in the past - rehashing a disappointment or wishing for how things used to be OR in the future - worrying about what is to come or hoping that things will get better, you are missing out on your PRESENT, your actual experiences.

PRESENT in Action:

I recently completed a Stress Manangement/Meditation Class. The instructor started the 8-week class by saying "All stress comes from time traveling...either worrying or fantasizing about the past or future." Over the two months of the course, I began to understand the power of this statement. When we choose to pay close attention to the PRESENT, stress is reduced.

Keep reading Are You PRESENT?

Read Also:

ACTION! | How will you BLOSSOM? | Are you BREATHING? | CELEBRATE Today!
Be your own CHAMPION | What CHOICE do you want to make? | Be more DELIBERATE
Get FEEDBACK | What gives you JOY? What is your PASSION? | Can you have PEACE amongst chaos? | Are you PRESENT? | You Are RESILIENT | What RITUAL can you develop? | Be SELFISH!
Are you willing to experience SATISFACTION? | What do you gain if you SIMPLIFY?
Quantify your STRETCH | What makes you UNIQUE? | What do you truly VALUE?

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