The Past Year

When you review your career milestones of the past year, you’ll want to take a candid look at what worked and what didn’t work for you, your clients and your organization.  Defining this will help you to make decisions about next year.

First, start with what went well this year.  What accomplishments are you most proud of and which have had the most impact?  In what situations were you successful?  Where did you significantly contribute your expertise and your energy?  For what situations did you receive great feedback?

Once you’ve defined these positives of the past year, celebrate or reward yourself.  Accomplished, achievement-oriented professionals are very good at figuring out ways to improve or defining what did not work well, but often forget this valuable step of acknowledging what they did well.  How and when will you celebrate your past year’s victories?

Next, review the year looking for challenges you’ve had, mistakes you’ve made and skill areas that you want to improve.  As you create this list, be analytical not critical.  Come from a perspective of ‘what would have made this year better?’ not ‘what was wrong with me?’  Remember, you can’t change what has happened in the past.  You’ll want to use it to help you be more effective in the future.

Now you’ll use the challenges list that you just created.  Use hindsight to evaluate and learn.  With each item on the list, describe how you might have done things differently.  What would have been the preferred action, response or result?  Think creatively about changes you want to make for yourself and how you operate.

So far, this exercise has been focused on you.  Now you’ll want to look beyond how you impacted your performance this year to examine external influences.   Identify which people in your professional life encouraged, supported and enhanced you - as well as those who might have discouraged, hindered or harmed you professionally.  What mechanisms within your organization were supportive and where did politics or policies get in the way of your progress?

The New Year

With a detailed review of the year completed and a clear picture of what happened in 2008, you can now move in to planning mode to define what you want for 2009.

Start by identifying your professional priorities for the year ahead. How do you want to grow and change in the year ahead?  Where do you want to focus your expertise, talents and skills?  If you imagine yourself looking back at the end of 2009, what will you be proud of having accomplished?

Select only three or four items as your professional priorities.  You’ll be working on more areas during the year ahead, but you want to be clear and focused on what is most important.  Be sure these priorities are written in a SMART way.  SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Actionable, Relevant and Time-based.  This will increase the likelihood that you will accomplish these goals.

Now that you know what you’ll be working on the year ahead, you’ll need to quantify who and what can support you.  First, identify the people you want on your team.  Who can assist you with advice, mentorship, sharing experience and wisdom?

You’ll also want to define what new knowledge or skills you’ll want to obtain.  Are there training classes or further education that you want to enroll in?  What interpersonal or organizational skill development might enhance your overall professional presentation?

Most people begin a new year with a resolution to shed a few pounds.  The next part of the Career Tune-up requires you to determine which people and habits you need to shed from your professional realm.

Look at the list above you created with people who have negatively impacted you professionally the past year. How do you need to alter your relationship with them?  This might include giving them feedback on how their behavior has impacted you, requesting that they change their behavior or setting a boundary on how you will interact with them.  All these activities have the common goal of eliminating drains on your productivity, performance and confidence.

Now you need to look inward.  What behaviors or habits do you regularly engage in that limit your career progression?  Do you regularly arrive late at work?  Talk negatively about colleagues?  Miss important deadlines?  Forget to return phone calls?  What do you need to stop doing in order to continue on your desired career trajectory?

Finally, and most importantly, you need to define how you want your new plan for professional success in 2009 to fit with the overall big picture of your life.  Your career does not occur in a vacuum.  Therefore, you can not make plans for professional change and development without considering what else is important in your life.

Think about how much you want to work, how you want work to impact your time away from work, what is missing in your life that would make you feel better about yourself, and thus better about work.  You are now creating your vision for your career and life for 2009.

Dive in to this process, and have a planned and productive 2009.

To receive a Career Tune-up Worksheet, send a blank email to
2008-review@aweber.com

One of the most important factors in determining an employees’ satisfaction is the relationship with their immediate supervisor.  According to Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman in First, Break All the Rules, your supervisor “defines and pervades your work environment. If she sets clear expectations, knows you, trusts you and invests in you, then you can forgive the company its lack of profit-sharing program.  But if your relationship with your manager is fractured, then no amount of in-chair massaging or company-sponsored dog walking will persuade you to stay and perform.”

If you are blessed with a fantastic boss - one who is supportive, encouraging, competent, and confident, who wants you to be successful and cares about your professional advancement - then you’ve hit the jackpot.  Nurture this relationship and work hard to show that your boss’s investment in you is worthwhile to him/her.  Unfortunately, not everyone’s boss is close to this ideal.

The following are examples of difficult bosses and how you can make working for this person more manageable.  If you are dealing with one of these situations, this should give you some ideas in how to manage more effectively.  If you haven’t faced these challenging situations, you may in the future and this will arm you with tools to help you.  And, if you are a boss, read on to make sure you are giving your direct reports what they need to excel.

The Micromanager

The Micromanager boss wants to know everything you do.  He expects to be copied on all emails, included in all decision making and be kept aware of all happenings.  He says he does this so he’ll be prepared and be able to support you if needed, but it feels like he doesn’t trust you and does not care about your professional development.  It’s hard work working for a Micromanager.  Keeping him in the loop, responding to detailed requests for information and never knowing when he’ll drop in with more instructions on how to do your job requires energy that could be better spent elsewhere.

How to handle the Micromanager?

As the Micromanager often believes he’s doing the right thing, talking to him can have an impact.  This is where the concept of “managing-up’ comes in.  Managing up is when you explain to your boss how to best support you; you teach him how to be a better boss for you.

Arrange a time to speak with your boss when you can focus you and your performance.  Don’t just pop in to his office and make this an unplanned conversation.  You’ll want to talk to him about what’s working and not working for you in regards to your ability to successfully complete your job responsibilities.  You don’t want to tell him what he does wrong and why it ruins your life.  You want to frame this as a win-win-win.  Good for you, good for him and good for your organization.

Here’s how to start the conversation:

“Bob, I would like to talk to you about ways for me to be more effective.  I understand you want to be informed about the work I’m doing.  I would like to update you once a week in a more thorough way instead of giving you daily updates.  This will allow me to focus more on my clients and give you the information you want, too.”

Notice that there is no blaming, anger or frustration expressed.  You’re aware of Bob’s needs, stating what would be better for you and offer a possible solution.  If Bob doesn’t agree to your request, you’ve at least started a conversation in a positive manner.

The Incompetent

The Incompetent boss makes you question how she ever got to where she is.  She doesn’t seem to understand your business, your responsibilities or her own, or how to get things done within your organization.  She often appears to be covering up her challenges, and she may even take credit for your successes.  With an Incompetent boss, you are often drained and frustrated, either from figuring out how to get the support you need or trying to get recognized for your accomplishments through the fog of your boss’s lack there of.

How to handle the Incompetent?

It’s not your job to fix your boss.  Don’t waste your time and energy making her look better, nor bad-mouthing her to other colleagues.  Focus on doing your job well and looking for opportunities to get acknowledgement elsewhere.  This may mean networking within your organization to find advocates and mentors.

If your boss is getting accolades for work that you’ve accomplished, this provides a setting for you to address her directly.  An Incompetent boss often works from a fearful place, worried about getting ‘found out.’

Stating your concern and your expectation will raise her awareness and encourage her to be fair.  You can’t change her incompetence but you can encourage honesty.  An example might be “Sue, I noticed at the last staff meeting you did not mention that I did the research and wrote the report that the Vice President complemented you on.  I’d appreciate it if you would clear up the misunderstanding about my contributions immediately.”

There is no threat here, just sharing with your boss what you observed and that you expect equity.  If she doesn’t respond appropriately, or if her incompetence is getting in the way of your effectiveness, you may need to address this issue within the framework of your organization’s grievance process.

The Sabotager

Unlike the Micromanager and the Incompetent, The Sabotager takes an active role in negatively impacting your career.  He may give you work that is significantly below your capabilities, highlight a weakness of yours in a public meeting, assign projects to you that are set up for failure, or prevent you from leadership opportunities.  A Sabotager usually comes from a place of inadequacy and believes that other people’s success can limit his own.

How to Handle the Sabotager?

You can attempt to address a Sabotager directly, but he will often deny his actions and claim you are not competent.  As with any request of your supervisor, state what you observed and request what you need from him in a non-defensive manner.

If you choose to communicate directly with a Sabotager, be sure to have other allies within your organization and document the issues and challenges you’ve faced previously.

If the Sabotager is preventing you from doing your job, you’ll want to make a case to the appropriate advocate within your organization.  That may be your boss’s boss, a leader within the company or a Human Resources Professional.  Make sure it’s someone you can speak with confidentially.  If there is no appropriate recourse (a complete change in your boss’s perspective or a reassignment to another supervisor) you may want to consider looking elsewhere for employment.

Other Bad Bosses

Unfortunately, these are only a few types of dysfunctional bosses.  You may have encountered The Abusive, The Buddy, The Obsessive, The Workaholic or The Absent.  Whatever challenges your supervisor may cause you, you don’t have to be at his/her mercy.  You have both internal and external resources:

• Communicate your concern directly to your boss and ask specifically for what you need from him/her.
• Partner with your boss to create a win-win-win.  Acknowledge your concern and engage your boss in mutual solution finding.
• Trust your intuition.  If something feels out of your comfort zone, get other professionals involved.
• Document your situation.  Keep track of what you believe to be inappropriate behavior.
• Look for employment elsewhere.  Work should be a place where you can excel professionally and feel comfortable personally.

This article is reprinted with permission from the July 12, 2007, issue of The Legal Intelligencer. Copyright 2007 ALM Properties Inc. Further duplication without permission is prohibited. All rights reserved.

• “How am I going to get this all done?”
• “I’m not cut out for this work.”
• “They think I’m better than I really am.”
• “I’m going to screw up eventually.”
• “Why am I even working here?”
• “I should get out now before I ruin my reputation.”

If any anxiety-producing questions are running through your head, they are not helping you be an effective professional, leader, team member, or human being.

No Place for Worry

Worrying does not serve you at any time.  It takes you away from your priorities, diminishes your focus and prevents you from engaging at your full level of competence and confidence.  It robs your company or organization of your full capabilities and talents.

On the personal front, you lose the energy and enthusiasm you might have had about your professional contributions. You stop taking time to enjoy opportunities and challenges that can develop at work, and it’s likely that your colleagues are not connecting with you as they have before.  You and your relationships suffer.

Why Do We Worry?

If worrying has no useful role in our work and lives, why do we do it?  Most people will answer this question based on situations that have occurred to them or assumptions they make.  For example:

• I messed up on a project like this before so I might do it again.
• I said something stupid to my boss last month, and now she’s going to think I’m incompetent.
• I’m not used to things being so difficult, so that must mean I’m not able to do this.
• All my colleagues came from better schools than me, so they’re going to get the better work and recognition.

We’re all very good at looking at ourselves critically; this list is endless.

In reality, the reason we worry is quite simple: we focus our energy and thoughts in the past or future, instead of the present.  We usually do one of the following:

• Reminisce about how things were better in the past and worry that they won’t be that way again
• Over-focus on something negative that happened in the past and worry that it will happen again
• Fantasize about things getting better in the future and worry that they won’t; or,
• Dread something that might occur in the future and worry about it happening.

With all these possibilities of worry around us, you must learn to curb this emotion and minimize the result.

Be Wrong, So What?

To begin with, we need to put our actions in perspective.  Work is filled with ‘ups and downs.’  Ninety-five percent of what we do and contribute at work is filled with our accomplishments and success.

The other five percent of ‘uh-ohs’ or ‘I could/should have done something differently,’ can be fixed or turned in to learning experiences.  Worriers will see and remember what they didn’t do and want to fix it; instead they should focus on their positive impact.

Mistakes will happen and you will resolve them.  You must choose not to focus on the little issues and be kind and gentle to yourself.

‘What’s Next?’ not ‘What Happened?’

When you accept that not all things will be perfect, then you need to address how to move ahead. You are likely to over-analyze a negative situation. While analyzing the scenario is useful, to an extent, you must learn from it and move on.  It’s easy for worriers to get stuck here.

Mistakes will happen and you will resolve them.  Choose to focus on what you can impact.  Ask yourself ‘what now?’ and ‘what’s next?’

Banish the Imposter

The Worrier that shows up in each of us has a name: ‘The Imposter Syndrome.’  The symptoms include questioning our competence, fearing that we will be ‘found out’ that we’re not as smart as we appear to be and disregarding all of our successes, contributions and accomplishments.

How do you get rid of this unwanted condition?  Keep these remedies in mind:

• Focus on your talents.  Define all that you do for your clients, colleagues, your organization and your world.
• Create an ‘evidence journal’ where you document your achievements, gains and wins.
• Start a ‘kudos file’ where you keep all of the positive feedback you receive.  Revisit regularly.
• Remember your job interviews.  When you were selling yourself to potential employers, you were relentless.  You knew you were the right person for the job, you could solve any challenge and your confidence was at its highest.
• Stay in the present. The best place to be is where you are.  Looking back slows you down and looking too far ahead gets you lost. *

Change your Worrier in to a Warrior and return to working with confidence.

*A great book for exploring the concepts of ‘staying present’ is Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

This article is reprinted with permission from the May 10, 2007, issue of The Legal Intelligencer. Copyright 2007 ALM Properties Inc. Further duplication without permission is prohibited. All rights reserved.

In some instances, the new information rolls off your back with all of the other data you process each day; other times you can use it to change behaviors, improve performance or enhance business results. A challenge can arise when the feedback seems ill-intentioned, doesn’t come with support or direction, completely surprises you, addresses a very sensitive issue, or seems just plain wrong. The resulting impact can include diminished motivation, disillusionment with work and career, anger, increased insecurities or feelings of professional futility.

Some examples of feedback woes I have encountered with clients include the following:

• An IT professional was told by his manager that he needs to be more aggressive and tougher in order to get greater results from work partners. This comment went against the professional’s values and his pride of being a team player and consensus builder among colleagues. It left him questioning if he wanted to stay in this line of business or even at the company.
• A management consultant received an extremely positive performance review. The only ‘area of improvement’ addressed a specific incident related to an unplanned team meeting. She was left doubting her abilities as a manager. Some of her staff has noticed that she does not seem as energized or engaged at work.
• An artist received feedback from a professor years ago questioning his creativity and artistic talents. Even after years of objective successes, he wonders if he can or should continue pursuing his art and passions. He continues to ‘hear’ that professor’s voice.

These examples illustrate that regardless of the intention in providing feedback, the consequence of the message may be negative and far-reaching. What’s most important is for the individuals on the receiving end of these comments to learn that they have a role in determining how to interpret and even benefit from ‘bad’ feedback.

The eye-opening perspective that turned the uncomfortable and unwanted feedback process around was this: Feedback is a gift. Imagine it’s your birthday and you’ve just received a beautifully wrapped present from a friend. You open it and it’s a sweater. The first thing that you do is pick it up and look at it. Examine the size, color, style. You now have numerous options:

1. You know you love it. You put it on, it fits perfectly and it will be a staple in your wardrobe.
2. You’re uncertain about it. You’ll try it on later, determine how it looks on, how it makes you feel and if it goes with the rest of your wardrobe; or,
3. It doesn’t fit or you just don’t like it. You can return it or put it at the back of your closet and forget about it.

Now imagine receiving planned or unplanned feedback from the perspective of ‘this is a gift.’ You are now empowered to decide what to do with the information. If the feedback ‘fits,’ you can make a change that supports your professional development. If you’re not sure if the feedback is accurate, you can ‘try it on.’ Observe your behavior and ask for feedback from other sources and then decide if this is an area that warrants change. Lastly, if the feedback does not truly reflect who you are and what you do, put it in a place where it won’t get in your way.

When coaching clients learn to apply the “Feedback is a Gift” framework to their situation, professional (and personal) satisfaction is greatly enhanced. In the examples mentioned earlier, the IT Professional decided to switch to another department where his strengths are fully utilized and his manager values his interpersonal style. He now enjoys going to work, interacting with his colleagues and he is an asset to his organization. The management consultant celebrated her very positive review and acknowledged that the unplanned meeting cited by her supervisor was both a challenge for her and also a rare occurrence. She sought advice from a more senior colleague and developed a plan in case the situation arose again. And, the artist worked very hard to put his former professor’s comments in the back of the closet. He realized that his own vision of creativity was unique, exciting, meaningful and very different from his professor’s. As the ‘voice’ quieted, his productivity and enjoyment of his art increased.

When you next receive feedback or constructive criticism, here are a few things to keep in mind as you evaluate the ‘gift.’

• Feedback is someone’s perception of you, it is not you. You get to evaluate its accuracy and meaningfulness.
• What you do with the feedback is up to you. You can evaluate it, act on it or ignore it. If it comes from a supervisor or employer, you may be required to make changes, but you can choose how to approach it.
• Feedback is contextual and temporal. It is related to a specific situation and time.
• Feedback is always valuable. It can reaffirm what you already know, ignite powerful change or make you aware of skewed perceptions. Use it in a way that benefits you.

Enjoy your gift!

The results of making these decisions, or lack of decisions, can be varied.  For some of us, this path is acceptable.  The work may be interesting, challenging, or financially rewarding - which can be enough to keep us engaged most of the time even if its not ideal.

Alternatively, we may view work as a means to an end.  Work is just something we do in order to ‘pay the bills’ and how we feel about our work and career isn’t relevant.  It’s what the work provides outside of work time that is important.

However, we may want more from our work and careers, and feel dissatisfied by their lack of fulfillment from our current professional state.

The reasons for dissatisfaction are wide-ranging and can include:

The lack of:

• Challenge,
• Meaning,
• Success, or
• Camaraderie

Or, too much:

• Stress,
• Hours,
• Monotony, or
• Micro-management.

Are You Feeling Stuck?

You may feel stuck, along with dissatisfaction.  You may have invested years of training and you can’t imagine starting over again in another field.  Your career may have advanced and you are esteemed by colleagues and your community and don’t want to give that up.  Or, you feel you can just ‘grin and bear it’ because everyone else does it.

Whatever the reason, many people choose to stay in situations that are less than ideal.  This choice to stay does not have to doom you to a life of professional stagnation or misery.  No matter what environment you’re working in, you can make improvements that work for you.

Are You Using Your Strengths?

People enjoy doing what they are good at doing.  This may seem obvious, but often we work hard at fixing what we can’t or don’t do well - we try to improve our deficits, instead of enhancing our strengths.  Unfortunately, most job evaluation processes focus on what an employee does not do well, instead what he/she does do well.

Do you know what you do well?  Take fifteen minutes and develop a list of your strengths - things you do well and enjoy doing in your job.  If you only come up with a few items, ask your boss, colleagues and friends for their input.  Often others see our strengths when we cannot.

Now evaluate what percent of your overall work responsibilities involve your strengths?  If it’s not at least 80%, you have significant room for improving your satisfaction AND you could be contributing significantly more to your employer.  You have a business case for changing what and how you work, and a great starting point for a discussion with your boss.

Armed with your strengths, begin talking with your boss about how to better utilize your talents.  Let your boss know that you’d like to take on more responsibilities in the areas of your strengths, which would also require you giving up some areas of work that are less appropriate for you.  The ‘win-win’ of this situation is that you’ll be much more productive when using your strengths and you’ll provide more value to the organization.

This is not an instant fix; it is unlikely that your boss will immediately change your job description.  This will likely be a process of conversations, small changes and evaluations.  You’ll want to regularly show your progress and beneficial results, and continue to ask for more opportunities to use your strengths.

Are You Doing What Matters?

If it feels like something is ‘missing’ in your work, this is often a sign that you are not incorporating your values in to the work that you do.  In order to see if it’s even possible to make this type of change in your current work situation, you need to be clear on what matters to you.

Take fifteen minutes, and develop a list of what you value and what has meaning to you.  How do you want to impact your world and the people around you?

You may find some of the following on your list: ending poverty, sustainable business, justice for all, political activism, religious freedom, challenging the status quo, listening better, helping animals.  This list is very personal to you and there is no right or wrong items that go on it.  It’s about what matters to you and gives you more meaning.

Next, is to look creatively at how you can incorporate any of this in to the work you’re doing.  It may not be immediately obvious how to help animals while consulting on IT projects  or how to end poverty as a tax accountant, but this is where you apply creative thinking.

Seek out others with similar values and brainstorm possibilities.  And, if it really doesn’t seem possible to bring what matters within your job responsibilities or your organization, find external outlets to make sure you’re nurturing what’s important to you in some other extra-professional manner.

Are You Enjoying the Environment?

We spend a significant part of our waking hours in our work place and work space.  How do you like it?  How does your office, cubicle or other work space make you feel?  If any of the adjectives you used to describe your working environment include: depressed, drained, bored, agitated, uncomfortable, painful, or any other obviously negative descriptors, you need to make some tactical changes.

Take fifteen minutes to define what feelings you want from your professional environment.  Do you want to feel creative, energized, calm, active, uninterrupted, or collaborative?

Once this is clear, evaluate whether you need to make cosmetic, ergonomic and/or structural changes to your environment.  Also, are there new ways of operating with people that will help you enjoy your space more?  For example, you might need to limit interruptions, engage in greater collaboration, or have more or less noise.

Working within the rules of your organization or asking for needed changes will allow you to feel more in control of your environment.

Are You Taking Care of Yourself?

How we take care of ourselves outside of work impacts how we feel about and during work.  We do not live and work in a vacuum.  We often hear the phase he/she ‘takes his/her work home.’  The opposite is also true.  We take our life to work with us.  If you are not feeling well or satisfied with things happening in your life it is likely to have an impact on your work.

Take fifteen minutes to evaluate your self-care practices.  Do you eat well?  Exercise enough?  Get enough sleep?  Do things that you enjoy?  Spend time with family and friends who nurture you?  If you are not satisfied with the life you are living it will likely impact your satisfaction with your work.

From the above evaluation, create one or two action steps that increase your self-care each week.  This might include getting eight hours of sleep each night, going to the gym three times per week, meeting a friend once a week after work, going to a museum or taking a cooking class.  Whatever feels like you are doing something for yourself and only you, give it a try.

An Hour to Work Satisfaction

The four 15 minute activities outlined above start you on the path to evaluating and making changes in how you work.  Begin the process and see how you can impact your job satisfaction, career and future.  An hour isn’t a huge time investment toward creating a more satisfying professional life.

Rob is often miserable, and finds it difficult to balance his challenging work with other things that used to bring him enjoyment.

Lauren, another client, has similar professional and personal circumstances as Rob: working very long hours with a small family; wishing she had more time to be with her son and husband; she used to jog regularly and yearns to take a yoga class occasionally.

Through all of this, Lauren is energized and enthused about work and life, and makes the most of each free moment.

Both Lauren and Rob are in similar situations - they both work very hard professionally with little time for personal commitments.  How can they have such different responses to their extremely busy lifestyle?  It’s all about how they look at work/life balance.

It’s a Journey, Not a Destination

The phrase ‘Work/Life Balance’ is heard often in the media with magazines, talk-shows and self-help professionals offering solutions on ‘how to get it’.  This is a great disservice as it assumes that Work/Life Balance is an end state – something that you accomplish and then reap the benefits.  With all due respect – you’re never going to get there!

Work/Life Balance is a journey towards a very remote destination.  You have a compass that can tell you when you’re veering far off the path or when you’re getting closer.  You will constantly have to re-adjust your route when you hit unplanned roadblocks and natural disasters.  At times, you’ll be on a scenic route enjoying the view and at other times you’ll be on an express train missing everything you are passing by.  The key to managing the journey is not getting too caught up at where you are any one moment.

You need to apply this analogy to life.  Below, you’ll find four critical components that will help you navigate closer to Work/Life Balance.

Know Your Core Values

Work/Life Balance is a personal choice.  As seen through the eyes of Rob and Lauren in very similar situations, it’s working for one of them and not the other.  Your goals for Work/Life Balance will be very different from your friend, colleague and sibling because you have a unique set of values.

Your core values may include financial security, accomplishment, adventure, family, equity, beauty, or fun. You need to choose what is most important to you as a core value. As you quantify what matters most to you, it will help you clarify how to invest your time now.

Following Rob and Lauren, Rob’s most important values include relationships, physical fitness and contribution.  Lauren’s values include leadership, financial wealth and challenge.  In Rob’s situation, he is only slightly nurturing his desire for contribution through his work, but he has had no time for maintaining relationships and physical fitness.  This is why he is miserable.

Lauren’s choices for her stressful lifestyle are congruent with her values as her work provides a high level of challenge and leadership opportunities as well as rewards her with significant monetary compensation.   This is why she is thriving.

ACTION #1: Define your core values.  Although you possess many values, select two to four values which are important to you now and you want to make sure are incorporated in your life.

Set Your Priorities

Once you choose your primary values, you must then prioritize them.  Although this may seem artificial since they are all important to you, this will assist you in stressful times when you need to choose how you spend your time and energy.

Rob’s top value currently is physical fitness.  When he doesn’t feel in shape, every other area of his life suffers.  When his client responsibilities became very heavy four months ago, he gave up his regular routine of going to the gym three times each week.

Lauren’s primary value now is financial wealth as she is the primary earner for her family.  She accepts her long hours now as she values the salary it provides.

Over time, priorities change.  Depending on your age, your stage of life, your responsibilities and situations that occur, different values will become more and less important.  Focusing on what is most relevant now will enhance how you feel about the choices you’re making regarding your time.

ACTION #2: Rank your core values that you defined in Action #1.  What is most important now?  What is next important?

Set Limits

All of us, at some point, have agreed to things that seem important, but actually drain us of time and energy.  If you know your values and have them prioritized, it will enable you to be more deliberate on what you commit your time to.

Armed with the resource of clear, prioritized values, you will then need to practice saying ‘no’ more often to requests that are not in synch with what is most important to you.  For most people, you may initially feel that you are letting down colleagues, friends or family members.  But, after you see that you are respected for making meaningful choices and you are able to enjoy more time for what matters to you, the process will become easier and the benefits substantial.

When Rob examined his time commitments, he discovered that the two work committees that he was serving on that did not fit with his values or enhance any of his professional goals or personal priorities.  He also acknowledged that he was attending a monthly networking meeting only because he felt he ‘should’ not because it was enhancing his professional situation.  Over a three-week period, he removed these three drains from his schedule.

Alternatively, Lauren made very clear choices to make the most use of her professional contributions.  She did not accept any additional responsibility unless it enhanced her ability to impact the bottom line of her company and therefore her income.  She also set limits on time away from her husband and son before taking on any non-work related activity.

ACTION #3:  Determine a plan to say “no” to activities that are not in line with your prioritized values.

Check Your Progress

The three components addressed above will change throughout your life.  Choices, priorities and limits that are relevant now may be different next week, next month, next year and beyond.  In order to keep moving closer to your ideal Work/Life Balance, constant evaluation and deliberate actions will be your guide.

ACTION #4:  Build time in to your day, week or month to evaluate how your actions are aligned with your values.  Adjust as appropriate.  Repeat regularly.

Enjoy Your Journey!

If you’re searching for a new job, wanting to change careers, trying to advance in your current field, developing your credibility as subject matter expert in your field, or building your own entrepreneurial venture, LinkedIn is an invaluable resource.

How does LinkedIn work?

By creating a profile on LinkedIn (www.LinkedIn.com), you are preparing yourself to network with a vast community of over 25 million professionals.  Your profile is similar to an online resume, as it highlights your professional experience, education and areas of expertise and interest.

Once you have your profile set up, you then upload your email contacts into your profile, and LinkedIn allows you to see who else you know that is already on the site. You can then simply connect with them, which also gives you access to their connections and their connections’ connections.  Basically, you’re developing a network three tiers deep that is easy to access through online requests through a chain of connections.

How can it help me?

Depending on your situation, you can use LinkedIn in a variety of ways:

New Job

• You’ve begun a job search in your current field and you’re targeting 5 companies. You can search for people in your network currently working at these companies who can give you insight to the organization, the company culture and the specific position.  You may even be able to connect with hiring decision makers.
• Use the “Jobs” area of LinkedIn, to find open positions. You have access to jobs that people in your network have listed.  If you’re interested, you have much easier access to the person listing the position than on other job boards, as they’re already in your network.
• Connect with headhunters in your field. LinkedIn is filled with headhunters/executive search professionals.  See who in your network might offer this service in your field of interest.

Career Change

• You want to make a big shift in your career. Search for people in the areas that interest you and request informational interviews to learn more about the new professional area.
• Search for career-specific keywords that include both your former career area and the new career area that you want to move towards.  You may find someone who has  made the switch previously and can speak to them about their process.
• Ask a question in the “Answers” area seeking advice from people who’ve done the change that you wish to do.

Professional Advancement

• Search for leaders in your field of interest, within your organization or within a professional association.  Request informational discussions to understand their path and seek advice on how to proceed in your desired direction.  You may even gain a mentor in the process.
• Be seen as a Subject Matter Expert in a specific area.  Respond to questions posted in the “Answers” area that highlight your expertise.

• Let your network know when you’ve written an article, have been quoted in the media or when you’re speaking at a conference. You can complete the “What are you working on?” field and your network will be notified of what you’re doing.

Business Development

• Search for people working in the industry or at a specific company that you want to target for your product or service and request an opportunity to discuss what you offer.
• Stay on top of trends by asking questions in the “Answers” section. You can get needed information, plus find out who is interested in your topic, product or service for further follow-up.  You can also answer questions that show you are knowledgeable and offer value in your business area.
• Determine who the decision makers are within interesting organizations by seeking feedback from people in your network who work for your target companies.

Depending on your career need or your desired results, you can use LinkedIn in so many ways.

How do I do it?

Before you can reap the benefits of LinkedIn, you have to get into the network.  Here are ten tips to get started effectively:

1. Create your profile. This is where you document your professional history, including your current and past employers, education, professional affiliations and areas of expertise.  People will be searching for you based on these items.  You want your profile to be as complete as possible.
2. Upload your contacts.  To begin building your network, you start with your own network of people you know.  Depending on how you store your own email address book, there are different methods to do that.  LinkedIn will connect with your specific email system and import all of your contacts into your LinkedIn profile.  [Note: LinkedIn does not do anything with the email addresses/contacts that you’ve uploaded.  You completely control any outreach to people in your address book.  This is a common concern expressed when starting with LinkedIn.]
3. Connect with people you know already using LinkedIn.  Once your own contacts are loaded into LinkedIn, you’ll visit the “Imported Contacts” page and see who from your address book are already using LinkedIn by looking for an icon next to their name.You can then select which of those people that you’d like to connect with, and create a personal note or use a form letter to request a connection.  Each person will receive an email saying that you’ve requested to connect with them.  They can choose to accept the connection. (Note: if you’re planning a job search, you may not want to choose to connect with your current boss, even if he/she is in LinkedIn.)LinkedIn operates on the premise that you know the people you’re connected with.  I encourage you to follow LinkedIn rules and protocol by connecting with only people that you know and feel comfortable connecting to other people.
4. Connect with people from current and former employers.  You can also connect with others even if you don’t have their email addresses.  On the “Add Connections” page under the “Colleagues” tab, you can see a list of people who have worked at the places where you have worked.  Review this list to see old colleagues with whom you may have lost touch.You can send a request to connect with these people without having their email address. Be sure the people you choose in this area will actually know who you are. You can add a personal note with this outreach.It’s also good to remember the rules and processes LinkedIn has set for your protection. For example, if you request a connection with a person who worked at the same place as you did that you didn’t know personally, when that person receives their invitation, instead of accepting the invitation they can select a button that says “I don’t know this person.”  If you do this too often (5 times), you will lose privileges to invite people to connect with you from employers where you don’t have their email address.
5. Connect with people from your alma maters. You can do the same outreach to people you went to school with as described in #4.  You can review lists of people who attended your college during the same years you attended.  Besides adding connections to your network, you might reconnect with an old roommate or long-lost friend.
6. Create a routine to repeat #2 through #5 above.  At a regular interval (I do this at least once a week), upload your email contacts (assuming you’ve added to them).  The system will show you if the new email addresses you’ve added are already in LinkedIn.  You also want to visit your “Imported Contacts” page as people you know are joining LinkedIn regularly.  You’ll be able to see if they’ve joined as an icon will appear by their name.  And, visit your “Colleagues” and “Classmates” area to see who may have joined since you last checked.
7. Review your “Network Updates.” On your LinkedIn homepage, you’ll see lists of what is happening to people in your network.  You can see who your first level connections are connecting with, any changes they’ve made to their profiles, and any other activity that they’ve had on LinkedIn.  Use these as opportunities to engage your connections by congratulating them on a promotion, commenting on a project they’re working on, or offering them assistance with a question they’ve asked.
8. Answer questions that show your expertise. Visit the “Answers” area to see if questions have been asked in which you could provide a resource or respond to as an expert. You can gain status as an expert in topical areas of interest to you and your business.  You can also ask questions to get access to a huge network of experts.
9. Outreach to people in your network to assist with your needs.  There are two methods to connect with your connections’ connections.  This is the power of LinkedIn.  Through a “People search,” you can find individuals who work at a specific company, in a specific field or industry, in a specific geographic location, and even by a keyword.  Once you find people you want to connect with that you don’t know directly, but are “LinkedIn” to you by either 2 or 3 connections away, you can request an “Introduction” or use an “InMail” to facilitate a direct connection.
10. Reciprocate! Once you have a network in LinkedIn, others that you’re connected to, and their networks will ask your assistance in facilitating connections.  Depending on how you’ve set up your profile, you may or may not receive email notifications for requests to forward connections.  Respond to these requests in a timely manner as you’d hope others would do for you.  This means logging in to your profile regularly, not only when you need something from your network.

This is only the ”tip of the iceberg” on utilizing LinkedIn.  It is worth the investment to spend time creating your LinkedIn presence and delving deeper in to the many ways in which this tool can enhance your professional path.

Disclaimer: Julie has NO professional relationship with LinkedIn and does not receive any benefit from your decision to join or not join LinkedIn. LinkedIn offers f’ree and fee-based membership levels. Please decide what is best for your needs. She is sharing her perspective for informational purposes only. Julie has used LinkedIn for almost three years using only the free level of service.

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Words Matter

The words that you communicate with tell more than just your message.  These words also tell others about you and how you interact with your world.  Here are some examples of the potential negative impact of over-apologizing:

• Tom works in an advertising agency where he was hired for his creativity and cutting-edge ideas.  At brainstorming meetings, he often sits back while colleagues share ideas.  He waits until he’s ready to share what he believes is something more powerful, creative and meaningful.  When he presents his perspective, he always begins by saying, “I’m sorry guys, but what do you think of this idea?”Tom is consistently frustrated because his great ideas never get any traction.  Tom feels the need to apologize because he’s not agreeing with the ideas of the group and yet, the group doesn’t spend time on Tom’s possibilities as he hesitantly presents an alternative viewpoint.  Tom’s colleagues shut down their focus after they hear “I’m sorry, but” as they’re assuming the content is a mistake.
• Rebecca, an IT Manager with a team of five direct reports, starts most of her conversations or emails with “I’m sorry.”  It may be “I’m sorry to bother you,”  “I’m sorry that I need you to do this,” or “I’m sorry to disagree with you.”  She is a highly competent IT professional.  She can’t understand why her staff often leaves her projects and request to work with other managers.  Her team members also leave the company at a higher level than any other manager.Rebecca’s direct reports have no confidence in her ability to stand up for them when it comes time to granting bonus pay and promotions.  They feel that since she can’t be direct with them, she must not be direct with her peers and supervisors.  She has no credibility as an assertive and confident advocate.

Impact or Lack Thereof

From the above examples, the overuse of “sorry” has significant repercussions.  In Tom’s situation, his ideas are minimized.  The message is lost by the way the messenger delivers it.  Although his ideas are very good, most of his colleagues tune them out.  If Tom apologizes for his own ideas, why should anyone else bother to listen?

Rebecca’s constant apologetic tone causes her direct reports to make the assumption that she is unable to be assertive in situations that impact them - therefore, they prefer not to have her as their leader.  Others equate frequent apologizing with passivity.  If she doesn’t stand up for herself, how will she stand up for anyone else?

Over-apologizing results in diminishing your impact and influence, a perceived lack of self-confidence, minimized expectations that others have of you, and also creates a general energy drain for those around you.  If you find yourself in the role of apologizer more than you’d like, you can change.

When to Apologize

Not all apologizing is detrimental.  If you bump in to a colleague in the hallway, by all means, say you’re sorry.  If you make a mistake on a project, hurt someone’s feelings, forget an important appointment, or do something that you believe was genuinely wrong, do apologize.

In Marshall Goldsmiths’ book What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, he says apologizing is a “magic move.”  When you use it to address a genuine wrongdoing, Goldsmith believes it moves a professional relationship towards change and growth.  Apologizing enables a stagnant and ineffective working relationship to focus on the future and results, instead of the past and resentment.  Unfortunately, not all apologetic language is this meaningful or valuable in professional relationships.

Banish Sorry

The first step in changing your language and behavior is becoming aware of your actions.  Over the span of a week or two, pay attention to when you say “I’m sorry” unnecessarily.  Note what you’re doing and how you’re feeling each time it occurs.  You’ll likely see patterns – it may happen when you’re running meetings, when you’re with a specific person that you’re not comfortable with, when you’re under deadline-related stress, or when you’re required to request something of others.

Once you notice the pattern, look to replace “I’m sorry” with more powerful and appropriate language for the situation or address the greater concern that is causing you to question your ability.

In Tom’s case, he was using “I’m sorry” instead of providing more direct feedback to his colleagues and out of concern of hurting anyone’s feelings.  Once he realized his colleagues valued his unique perspective and that they wanted their ideas challenged, he began speaking more directly and assertively.

For Rebecca, she discovered something she was not expecting.  Her pattern showed that she only apologized in relation to her role as supervisor.  She rarely used an apologetic tone or phrase when she was working confidently with her technical skills and never in her personal life.

She realized that she did not like or want the responsibilities of a manager.  She most enjoyed her role as a technical subject matter expert and did not want to be ‘the boss.’  With this new insight, she was able to transition to a more appropriate role for her, allowing for new leadership for her team.

One last thing to consider – sometimes “I’m sorry” loses its meaning to the speaker and just becomes a verbal placeholder or a shorthand phrase for something else (like “excuse me,” “may I have your attention,” “I don’t agree” or “what did you say?”).  If this is the case, you may not be aware of the negative impact of your words. The remedy for this is to pause before you speak.  Allow yourself time to begin your statements in a more powerful and meaningful way, only a few seconds will allow your mind space to reformulate the structure of your reply.

Removing “I’m sorry” from your vocabulary, except when genuinely needed for forgiveness and atonement purposes, creates a more confident and competent perception.  Make the change and see the results.

A soon-to-be MBA grad, he has a job offer that he really wants to take, but is dissatisfied with the base salary and wants to address a few other issues in the overall package.  He feels  that the salary is set because it’s part of a management training program, so he doesn’t know how to proceed to get closer to his ideal compensation package.

Everything is negotiable.

There is no downside to asking for more of what you want.  No one will be surprised if you ask to negotiate for additional salary or other perks.  And, your job offer won’t be rescinded for having this type of discussion.

Some things to keep in mind about your salary negotiation process:

• Know what is most important to you - base salary, bonus, vacation, location of offer, training budget, scope of position, etc
• Evaluate package as a whole - some parts may be flexible, some may not
• Know when you’re willing to walk away - understand your ‘deal-breakers’
• A bigger base has a larger impact over time - raises and some bonuses are often based on percentage of base.
• Stay positive throughout the process - show your enthusiasm about the organization and the position you’re trying to obtain
• It’s not personal - make it a business decision on your side, and remember it’s a business decision on their side
• When it’s done, it’s done.  Once you agree to a package (or choose to walk away from an offer), put it behind you.  Don’t hold grudges or gloat.

A great book for the ins and outs of salary negotiations: Secrets of Power Salary Negotiating by Roger Dawson

What are your thoughts, questions or concerns about your next salary negotiation?